The Trials of Childhood
by roxie2120
Summary: Childhood isn't always easy, and it's up to Hera to be there for Jacen when he needs her most. And a little help from the rest of the Crew never hurts! A series of one-shots involving Jacen Syndulla.
1. Bullies

"Thank you Chopper." Hera said, smiling. She took the offered wrench from the astromech and kept working on putting the panel back together. It was just the two of them on the Ghost today. The rest of the crew were off, somewhere on Lothal, while her child, Jacen, was at his school.

She hummed. The last thing she had expected was to be a mother. She had figured her and Kanan's one intimate night before he had left for Mandalore was the cause, even if they hadn't meant it to be. She had never had a chance to tell him before he had died. She let out a quiet sigh, unnoticed by Chopper.

 _One of the many regrets she had._

After the Battle of Lothal, she broke the news to the crew. Everyone had supported her along the way. Even her father, the traditionalist that he was, was happy and excited after he got over the initial shock.

She would always be grateful for everyone for supporting her in Kanan's absence.

Chopper suddenly warbled beside her, breaking her from her thoughts. The grumpy, old droid was obviously content for once. Hera smiled at him. "Enjoy the peace while it lasts, Chop. You know Jacen will want to play when he gets home." She said. Chopper let out an annoyed growl, and Hera chuckled. She knew the old astromech loved the child in his own kind of way, and did everything he could to help keep him happy.

Slowly, she sat up, handing the wrench back to the droid. She wiped a few beads of sweat from her forehead, and glanced at the time. "Speaking of: its time I picked him up." She told him, only now realizing how much time had passed. "I'll be back soon." She added, and stood. She didn't wait for Chopper's reply as she hurried out, walking the short distance into town and toward the small preschool Jacen attended. The day was calm and peaceful, and she smiled to herself as she walked through the door.

The smile immediately dropped from her face, and the calm, peaceful atmosphere was shattered when Jacen ran up to her, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"What is it, love?" She quickly asked, kneeling down to his level. Jacen wrapped his arms tightly around her, whimpering softly. He sniffled. Looking around, Hera gently scooped him up, and looked for his teacher. When she didn't see anyone, she looked down at the boy again. "Jacen, what happened?" She asked, gently, trying to keep the worry out of her voice. Jacen just sniffled and shook his head, hiding his face against her neck. She rubbed his back, trying to soothe him.

Quickly, she signed him out for the day. She hoped he would open up to her about what had made him cry.

"Would you like to get something to eat?" She asked him as she walked out of the building. She felt him shake his head in reply. "Not even a Jogan? It's your favorite." She tried to coax him.

He just shook his head again, and she sighed, heading back to the Ghost. On the way, Hera struggled to remember what her mother used to do with her and her brother in these types of situations. She found she always longed to ask her for advice.

Or to have Kanan here to help.

Jacen remained silent, so she rubbed his back again.

After what seemed like forever, they arrived back at the Ghost. She lowered the ramp, and sat, carefully adjusting Jacen to sit on her lap. He quietly sniffled. Chopper warbled a greeting and Zeb followed him out.

"Heya Kid!" Zeb smiled, approaching him. Jacen saw him, and quickly hid his face against Hera's shoulder again. Zeb shot Hera a confused look, obviously a bit hurt at the response. Hera shrugged as best as she could. "I think something happened. Let me talk to him." She whispered. Zeb nodded and took the cue to go back inside the Ghost. Chopper followed after a second, leaving Hera alone with her son.

She sat with him in silence for a while, letting him gather his thoughts. When the sun started to set, she finally spoke.

"Will you tell me why you're upset?" She asked, quietly. Jacen sat up, and sniffled. Hera looked at him. "Did something happen at school?" She pressed.

He gave the tiniest nod in reply.

"Can you tell me about what happened?" She kept pressing. He sighed, and finally spoke. "I don't wanna go back to school." He said, simply. Hera sighed. "Why not?" She asked.

Jacen looked away. "I just don't want to go back." He said.

Hera remained silent for a second. "Jacen, please, talk to me. Tell me what happened." She said.

Jacen seemed to deflate as the fight left him. His shoulders drooped, and he sniffled once again,

"Why do I look funny, mommy?" He asked.

The question took Hera aback. Before she could reply, Jacen continued. "The other kids said that I looked funny..." he whispered. The more he continued, the more furious Hera got. "They said normal kids don't have green hair and ears.." he looked up at her, the hurt raw and plain in his eyes. Those eyes that reminded Hera so much of his father.

"Why do I look funny, mommy?" Jacen asked again, his voice breaking, and tears threatening to spill from his eyes again.

Hera blinked and gently kissed his forehead. "Sweetheart.. you don't look funny." She told him, firmly. "But I look different from the other kids in my class!" He protested. " _Their_ hair and _their_ ears aren't green!" He reminded her.

Hera gently shushed him, and he fell silent, listening to her. "That's okay, Jacen." She told him. "Not everybody has to look similar. You are unique." She told him, and he looked down. "I.. just don't want them to make fun of me.." he muttered.

Hera pushed aside a new wave of anger. She took a deep breath.

"Jacen, people get too caught up on appearances, sometimes." She said, and he looked up at her again, his blue eyes, _those blue eyes_ , wide. "Just because you're different, doesn't mean you're any less than anybody else." She said. "Yeah... but.." he sighed. "How can I show them that?" He finally asked.

Hera thought for a second. "Think about Zeb." She said. For the first time since she picked him up, she saw the tiniest of smiles appear on Jacen's face. He loved to play with Zeb, who was somewhat of an uncle to him. "Zeb doesn't look like anybody on Lothal. But I guarentee you he's the strongest." She said.

Jacen looked down, his forehead wrinkling in thought. "What can you do?" She asked, and he continued to think for a while. Suddenly, his eyes widened in realization. "Well... I can run faster than a lot of them.." he said. "And I can climb higher than a lot of them when we're playing outside." He added.

Hera smiled. "See?" She asked, and ruffled his hair. He laughed. To Hera, that laughter was like the sweetest, most joyful melody she had ever heard.

But the frown soon appeared on his face again. "But what if I show them this, and they still make fun of me?" He asked, looking at her. Hera hummed. "I'll talk to your teachers. If they continue to bully you, you can always go to them, alright?" She asked. He looked at her. "Okay..." he whispered.

Hera hugged him, and he leaned into the reassuring embrace.

"Thank you, mommy." He whispered. Hera smiled.

"I'm always be here for you, Jacen." She reminded him. "And so will the rest of the crew."

He smiled.

Hera stood, holding his hand. "Now how about we go see if Zeb wants to go out for dinner?" She asked. Jacen jumped up and down with excitement. "Do you think he'll let me ride on his shoulders on the way there?" He asked. Hera smiled.

"Only one way to find out." She said, and he ran inside ahead of her, already yelling for Zeb.

* * *

 **So this will be my current project until I get more inspiration to finish my other stories. A collection of short one-shots about Jacen and the crew. Honestly, Jacen's so adorable, and I was so excited to find out Hera and Kanan had a kid (my own theory about how that happened is hinted in this chapter. Not sure if I'll expand on that later).**

 **Now, for the fun part. Feel free to send in requests! Either in a review or private message! Keep the prompts approatriate, and centered around Jacen's interactions with the Ghost crew (as well as characters like Kallus and the clones!) and I'll do my best to update as much as possible!**


	2. What Was He Like?

"Will it ever stop raining?" Jacen heard Sabine wonder. He looked outside, shivering as a clash of thunder rumbled loudly overhead. Frightened, he ran over to Zeb, crawling into his lap. Zeb ruffled the dark green locks of his hair. "It's just thunder, kid. It can't hurt you." The lasat told him. Jacen sighed. "It's just loud.." he whispered. Sabine and Zeb smiled.

The crew had been trapped inside the Ghost all day due to the bad weather. Sabine and Zeb had been tasked with watching Jacen while Hera was in a meeting with some of the Alliance leaders. Unfortunately, there just wasn't much to do.

Jacen looked around, and sighed, obviously bored. He looked over at Sabine. "Sabine?" He asked. The mandalorian looked at him. "Do you think mommy's done with her meeting?"

Sabine hummed, and looked over towards Hera's cabin. "I don't know." She replied after a second. Jacen looked frustrated. He leaned against Zeb.

Sabine smiled. "I have an idea. How about we go paint?" She asked. The boy immediately perked up. "Okay!" He said, jumping off of Zeb's lap. He grabbed Sabine's hand, following her as she walked down the hall. "Let me just grab some paints from my room.." she told him. She knelt down, making sure the Lasat couldn't hear her. "Then we can work on Zeb's room." She whispered. Jacen giggled.

She opened the door. Jacen took the chance to peek in, curiously, since he had never seen her room before. He smiled at the colorful Loth cats and depictions of people on the walls. When he looked up he saw a mural. He gasped, excitedly. "Hey!" He exclaimed, making Sabine jump in surprise.

Jacen pointed up. "That's mommy! And Chopper, you, Zeb..." he trailed off. Sabine picked him up, a little nervous. "Who's that?" He asked, pointing to a kid with blue-back hair. "You remember him." Sabine said. "That's Ezra."

Jacen nodded. "I've never seen him before.." He told her. Sabine silently wished they could fix that.

He focused on the last person. "Sabine, is that daddy?" He asked after a second.

Sabine slowly nodded.

Jacen tilted his head in thought. "What was he like?" He asked. Sabine sighed. "He was very kind, selfless." She said, slowly, unsure of how much to tell him.

It wasn't like they hid the truth from him, she just would rather have the rest of the crew to help her out.

"Come on. Let's go paint." She said, and Jacen ran ahead of her to Zeb's room.

—

"How does this look Sabine?" Jacen exclaimed.

Hera shook her head. "I better get going." She said. Mon Mothma smiled in understanding, and the two said their goodbyes before Hera cut off the connection.

"Sabine! That's my room!" She heard Zeb exclaim.

"Do you like it?" Jacen asked, excitedly.

Hera smiled and opened the door. "This doesn't sound good." She muttered. Jacen smiled, running to her. "Mommy!" He yelled, and quickly hugged her.

Hera pretended not to notice the paint staining her clothes, and hugged him back.

"Was he good?" She asked them. Zeb and Sabine nodded. "Thank you." She said, grateful the two were willing to watch him.

Zeb smiled. "Of course, Hera." He said. Hera looked to Sabine. Something told her she wanted to talk privately.

"Jacen, why don't you go with Zeb to get cleaned up?" She asked. Jacen smiled and nodded, heading to the refresher. Zeb trailed along after him.

"What happened?" She asked Sabine.

"He asked about Kanan.." Sabine whispered in reply. Hera just sighed. "I'm sorry Hera.." Sabine said. "He just followed me in, saw the mural, and.."

Hera smiled, shaking her head. "I'm not mad at you Sabine." She told her. "Maybe it's time we all sit down together and tell him everything." Hera decided. Sabine looked a bit nervous, again, but she nodded. "Well, I guess now's a good a day as any." She said.

—

The two walked back out to the common room, and waited for Zeb and Jacen to return.

The didn't have to wait long. Zeb walked out, carrying the boy, already dressed in his night clothes, carefully on his shoulder.

Zeb sat down and Jacen laughed as he carefully climbed down. Zeb looked at Hera, then frowned when he saw the nervous look on her face. "What's going on?" He asked, so Jacen couldn't hear. Hera took a breath. "I wanted us all here together so we can really talk about Kanan." She said. "Oh." He muttered, but before he could say anything else, Jacen crawled into Hera's lap. "About daddy?" He asked. Hera looked at him, and nodded. "Jacen, you never got to meet your father." Hera she said, and the boy shook his head. "What do you want to know about him?"

Jacen looked down, taking a second to think. "You told me he was a Jedi, mommy. And Sabine just told me a little about him.." he whispered.

"She told me he was very kind." He added. Hera nodded. "He always put others over his own needs." She told him. Jacen smiled. "How did you meet him?" He asked. Hera smiled at the memory. "We we're on a mission together, and he offered to join my crew afterwards." She said, simply. It wasn't the full truth, but it would satisfy him until he was old enough to know the full story. He was only four, after all. Zeb smiled. "Kanan and your mother found me after I lost my home." He said, ruffling the kids hair. Jacen smiled. "And they took me in when I had nowhere to go." Sabine said.

"They made a home for you!" He realized. Hera smiled, and Zeb and Sabine chuckled. It struck Hera just how smart he was already.

"That's about right." Sabine said.

Jacen smiled. "Did he take in Ezra, too?" He asked. "Ezra... kind of found us." Hera replied.

Jacen fell silent for a while, finally he looked at her. "Mommy? Do you have a picture of him?" He asked. Hera nodded, standing. She went to her cabin and grabbed a holopicture of him with her. She activated it and showed it to Jacen.

He gently took it and studied it quietly, a small smile on his face.

After a few minutes, Hera rubbed his back. "It's time for bed." She whispered, and he yawned, only now realizing he was tired. Hera deactivated the holopicture, and he reached out for her. She scooped him up.

"Goodnight, kid." Zeb said, gently. "See you in the morning Jacen." Sabine also added. Jacen yawned and his eyes drooped heavily in reply. Hera took him to his bed, just across from her cabin. She gently laid him down, kissing his forehead. After making sure he was warm enough, she turned to leave.

A little hand grabbed her own. "Mommy?" He asked. Hera looked at him. "Could you keep the picture in here?" He asked. She smiled. "Of course, love." She said, setting it down and activating it. Jacen smiled, and Hera turned to go again.

"Mommy?" He asked again, just as she was at the door. She patiently turned back. He yawned. "Do you think daddy would've liked me?" He asked.

Hera smiled. "He would have loved you Jacen." She said. He yawned. "I wish I could've met him.." he whispered.

Hera looked away, fighting to keep the tears from falling. Even after all these years, she missed Kanan so much.

"I know, love.." She whispered. She watched until he finally fell asleep, then she gently turned off the lights, and closed the door, leaving him alone to sleep in the gentle glow of the holopicture.

—

Jacen smiled as he felt a warm and reassuring presence embrace him.

" _Even though we've never met, I'm always here for you, kid."_

"Daddy?" He muttered as he yawned _._

" _I love you."_

Jacen let out a content sigh. "I love you too..." he muttered, rolling over in his sleep.

* * *

 **Jacen asking the crew about Kanan was requested by _Mistress Malica_ and _Kiseki Fan._**

 ** _KenoBAE (Guest)_ requested a Force-Ghost Kanan meeting Ezra. I didn't really know how to devote a whole chapter to that, as it was confirmed by Ahsoka that Kanan was not a Force-Ghost, but I threw a little something in the end there that I hope you'll like ;) **

**And, of course, I'm saving Ezra for another chapter.**

 **First off. WOW! I was not expecting this to be so popular! I'm closing requests for now so I can catch up. This is a project I'm working on in my free time so I'm not guaranteeing regular updates, but I'm going to write chapters/requests whenever I can. Some requests are so similar, I will combine them. And I might modify some requests to fit better (for example, Kanan in this chapter.)**

 **They might not be published in the order of request, either, but I promise, if you send in a request, it will get done!**

 **Second: I do accept critiques, and I'll usually try to reply privately, but this is in response to a few guest reviews:**

 **Yes, bullying in Star Wars does sound a bit odd. But, remember, Lothal is a small, remote world, and Jacen is also a hybrid (which we have only seen a few of in Star Wars).**

 **These are young kids (Jacen is about 3 or 4) who probably haven't seen the larger galaxy, so it very well** **could still happen (but, of course, that doesn't make it right).**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	3. Hide and Seek

"Jacen?! I give up. Where are you?" Zeb called, looking desperately outside around the Ghost for the missing child.

Jacen giggled as he hid in the grass nearby, but Zeb didn't hear him. "This is the last time I agree to play hide and seek with you, kid." The Lasat muttered to himself as he looked behind some crates. He grumbled when he didn't find Jacen, and kept looking.

Jacen giggled, again, and watched as Zeb walked back into the ship. The boy smiled to himself, triumphantly. "I'm gonna win, Uncle Zeb!" He muttered to no one in particular.

Suddenly, he heard the grass rustle behind him, and he jumped in surprise. "Hello?" Jacen whispered. He recieved no response. Frightened, he hugged his knees. "Uncle Zeb? Is that you?" He whimpered.

Looking around again, he didn't see Zeb. After a second, he slowly began crawling toward the sound, trying to figure out what was there.

As the grass parted, he found himself face to face with a small, brown Loth Cat.

Jacen smiled, and the cat meowed, obviously friendly. He petted it's soft fur. "Kitty!" He said, then laughed. "You scared me! I thought you were Uncle Zeb!" The cat just purred in response as the child scratched it's chin.

"Do you wanna play, too?" He asked. The cat swished it's tail. In a flash, it took off in the opposite direction.

Jacen gasped. "Wait!" He yelled. "Come back!"

The game forgotten, he took off, running as fast as he could after the runaway cat.

But it was too fast. Jacen began to slow down, panting. Still determined to find the feline, Jacen jogged into a clearing.

Only to find himself running into something huge and furry.

He grunted, falling backwards into the dirt. He sniffled, gingerly looking at his hands and arms, which were scraped up pretty badly.

A large, wet nose gently touched his cheek, and he jumped, looking up.

Gasping in shock, Jacen did his best to back away from the large, grey Loth Wolf, but he froze when he heard an amused huff from behind. Slowly, he turned around, only to see another one, slowly bending down to sniff him. Frightened, Jacen whimpered, hiding his face.

After a second, one of the wolves let out a whine, and gently nudged him. The other licked one of his arms in an attempt to make him feel better.

Jacen slowly looked up at them again, and managed to smile through his tears at their attempts to comfort him. He barely noticed that the Loth Cat had disappeared, leaving him and the two grey wolves.

With a small hand, he reached out and ruffled the soft fur on their heads. The wolves let out content, happy growls, and Jacen smiled. "You look scary, but..." his smile grew as they laid down beside him. He laughed.

"Do you two want to play?" He asked, receiving a small wag from their tails in reply.

* * *

Zeb groaned, rubbing his neck. "Hera's going to kill me." He muttered, finally accepting the fact that he had lost her kid.

He walked onto the bridge, accepting the fact that he was probably doomed.

He found her working on the Ghost.

He paused. _Definitely doomed_.

He cleared his throat to get her attention, and Hera glanced at him. "Zeb!" She smiled. She kept focusing on what she was doing. "Is Jacen hungry? I made him some lunch." She told him.

"Uh.." he muttered. Hera paused and looked at him, sensing something was wrong.

"About that..." he added.

She crawled out from under the console, and stood. "Get to the point." She said, wiping her hands on a cloth.

He looked away, and she raised an eyebrow.

A few minutes later, after explaining the situation, he was grateful no one else was around to hear her shout.

"Garazeb Orrelios!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Jacen quietly hid in a patch of tall grass. Suddenly, one of the Loth Wolves pounced in front of him, and licked him, making the boy laugh. "You found me!" He yelled, and ran back to the clearing, where the other one waited. "Okay! Now I count and you two hide!" He said, and started counting. The wolves glanced at each other and ran off. "...five, six..." Jacen gave a large, tired yawn.

"Seven, eight..." He tried to continue counting, but he found himself drifting off.

* * *

"Where the heck can he be?" Hera muttered, looking around. "There's no way he could have gone far." She added in a small attempt to reassure herself.

She had sent Zeb to Capital City to look because she really didn't want to see the Lasat right now.

She didn't expect him to have much luck.

She continued her search, but paused again when she heard a voice.

"Lose something?" Sabine asked. Hera looked up as the girl approached. She huffed. "No. Zeb did." She grumbled. Sabine smiled a bit at the Twi'lek's irritable response. "What did he lose this time?" She asked. "I can help you look."

"My kid." Came the short response.

Sabine's smile quickly dropped. "Oh.." she muttered, and walked in the opposite direction to look for the child.

After a few minutes, Sabine called out.

"Found something!"

Hera quickly hurried over, and Sabine pointed to a small set of footprints, leading off into the fields. "Leave it to Zeb to let Jacen wander off." Sabine said, trying not to laugh. Hera smiled, despite the situation. "Come on!" She said

They lost the trail a few times, and it was almost dark by the time they found the clearing where the boy was.

Hera couldn't help but smile as she walked up to her child, curled up asleep in the dirt. She gently brushed his scraped arms, a bit of concern in her eyes. Deciding to worry about it later, she gently rubbed his back. "Jacen.." She whispered, trying to rouse him. The boy blinked drowsy eyes up at her, and Hera gently scooped him up. "What happened?" She asked. Jacen leaned on her shoulder. "I was chasing a Loth Cat, then I ran into something, and I fell. And that something turned out to be two Loth Wolves, and they played hide and seek with me.." he said.

Sabine and Hera both looked amused. Obviously, they didn't fully believe him. "Well, lets get you to bed. You've had quite the adventure." Sabine said. Hera nodded in agreement.

"But we have to finish our game, mommy.." he whispered, eyes already drooping shut. "That can wait till tomorrow, sweetheart." Hera said, smiling. She rubbed his back again.

Jacen sighed. He glanced up, and a small smile crossed his face when he saw the two Loth Wolves watching them through the grass. He gave a small wave before the two wolves ran off, then he allowed himself to drift off to sleep again in his mother's arms.

* * *

 **Sorry it's been a while since I've updated, and for leaving you with a short one! I've been working on other writing projects, and, of course, life must always come first.**

 **Still, I hope you enjoyed Jacen's adventurous game of hide and seek!**

 **Jacen meeting a Loth Wolf was requested by Arc-Fire115**


End file.
